I never understood myself. I didn’t know there were things about me that were yet to be discovered, and when something like that doesn’t even exist to you, then there’s no way you can feel as if you are missing a piece of your personality. So logically, all my life, I thought I was perfectly fine with my self-expression…then I left my hometown and moved far away to college.

I say far away, it’s only a state away, but it’s far enough for the ongoings of my old hometown to fail to reach me, which I am beyond fine with. Leaving the circle of influence my old high school had on me was life-changing, but it took me a while to realize the newfound freedom I felt was more than simply living away from my parents; it was living away from all the rules I had placed on myself.

I placed these rules because everyone around me did the same. Small, insignificant things like never cutting my “long blonde hair, oh you can’t get rid of natural beauty!” and refusing to wear cowboy boots of any sort because I rejected the regional culture so aggressively. I was always tempted and intrigued by facial piercings and tattoos, knowing I would want some when I was old enough.

I never understood that I needed to first find myself to express myself. And finding myself was more than an internal search of my mind. But I also never thought of myself as ever enjoying anything of the journalism type of work. Okay, yes, that seems unrelated, but joining The Current Sauce was another thing about me that I had yet to understand was something I was missing.

I have always loved writing without rules, and I love talking about things I enjoy, but I never expected the communication degree I was pursuing to push me so heavily into the journalism side of the field as it has…and I am not mad about it.

Ask a 17-year-old me if I would want to join the school newspaper at my college of choice, and I would have said no. So, what changed? Really, I don’t know. I was desperate for another scholarship to cover my tuition freshman year and the only thing hiring at the time was The Current Sauce, so I filled out a form and immediately forgot about the whole ordeal until I received a very badly timed call and hastily did the worst phone interview of my life.

Now, initially, I was denied the position, and I saw the email while attending a concert at Seven Oaks Stage. I wasn’t so upset, but it was another thing that hadn’t worked out amid disappointments one after another. So, when I received another email an hour later saying to disregard the previous rejection, I was hired so long as they would have me, I was ecstatic.

But joining The Current Sauce, learning the rules, attending the meetings and meeting the people, it has all been a lengthy process and I didn’t ever think I could be where I am now, editor of the viewpoints section. But I am so proud of myself and so glad I have enjoyed this job as much as I have. Writing an opinion article every week of the school year for the past almost two years has been both stressful and so enlightening.

At first, it was so easy to write. I had so many controversial and heated opinions to spew all my brain energy out on, I was unstoppable. But there was the learning process of understanding how to write well while doing it under a time schedule and a word limit. I still push my limits every week, but the learning curve is for sure evening out. Getting to voice my opinions in such a clear and concise way as to be understood by all of you readers helped me formulate all these words I had been unable to voice before.

Insignificant things such as salt being a seasoning or not, all the way to the article where I admit to everyone that I am struggling with my mental health, way more than I thought I was, it has all helped me understand the way I think and the way I feel about many things I had previously never even thought to form an opinion on. Soon after the initial rush of excitement, I had to look for new topics to write about. Actively looking for a new opinion to write was at the top of my mind every week, and everything became a potential story.

And with all my articles thus far, I have always enjoyed each one. Getting started can be hard, but at the end of every article I have always been proud to submit my document for editing. And at the end of the day, that pride in my written voice is what I always needed.

There are other things here at NSU that have made me learn what self-expression really was, but The Current Sauce is a huge player in my experience. I know not everyone will find what I have found, but I urge you to take the risks and think about what your words can do to influence others.

The Purple Media Network is home to all NSU’s best student media-focused organizations and there is for sure a place for you should you be interested in finding for yourself that which I have found for me. My time as an opinion writer is ending, there are only so many arguments I can make before I run out of steam. But I know my next place will be exactly what is right for me to grow even more in my last couple of years here at this school.