Living with a roommate in college can be an experience, whether that be positive or negative, which is why it’s essential to know how to live peacefully with one another.
Your first year as a college student can have a lot of challenges, so don’t let your roomie be one of them. Use these tips to help you establish some rules.
Communication is key: In the first few weeks of the semester, you should get to know each other. You should be open to discussing schedules, study habits, preferences regarding noise levels, guests and shared spaces. Also, bonding time is essential, so make sure to spend time with your roommates outside of your living spaces. This can help establish a stronger relationship and help you be more comfortable with each other.
Jacee Smith, a junior nursing major at Northwestern State University of Louisiana, explained, “I would say that communication is key with living with other people, making sure that everybody is comfortable in their own home. And if you live on campus, you’re paying, so obviously you want to be comfortable in a home you are paying for.”
Respect personal space: Respecting each other as well as each other’s personal spaces is also key in maintaining peaceful living. Establishing boundaries is also important; communicate what things you are willing to share. If you want to borrow something, always ask first. These may seem small and even tedious things to do, but in doing so, you are preventing misunderstandings in the future.
Cleanliness standards: Agree on a cleaning schedule for shared areas like bathrooms, kitchen and living room. Decide who’s going to take out the trash or who’s going to buy cleaning supplies. Keeping your home or dorm clean is a shared responsibility, so be clear about your expectations. And please clean your dorms, you’re in college now.
Natalie Matthews, a sophomore early childhood education major, shared that discussing boundaries with her roommates has been helpful for peaceful living.
“In the past, we’ve had issues with keeping the house clean just because sometimes people don’t want to contribute to maintaining the house or we’ve also had a little bit of trouble with sleeping schedules and people being in the house when we are trying to sleep,” she said. “But in the end, it hasn’t all been that bad. I’ve made some really good friends in the process of finding and getting roommates.”
Guest policies: Discuss who you want to have over and how often, including how late they can stay and if they can stay overnight. If you stay on campus, make sure to check your university’s policies on overnight guests. If you share a room, be mindful of who you bring and if your roommates feel comfortable with them. Always ask before bringing someone over, and make sure you are respecting your roommates’ boundaries. Don’t invite strangers you just met into your home, whether on or off campus; college is a time to meet new people, but you have to be safe, so knowing who you invite is crucial to your well-being and the well-being of others who may be affected by your decision.
Shared expenses: If you are splitting bills, rent or groceries, make sure it is being dealt with in a mature and fair way. You should establish deadlines for payments and keep track of expenses. Make sure to have an agreement with your landlord on what responsibilities you have. If you are staying on campus, make sure to split costs with other necessary household items.
“Living off campus, I think, is usually cheaper. I’ve never lived on campus, so I’m not sure how it is,” Naydu Daza Maya, a graduate student studying sports administration, said. “I think that living off campus gives you a lot of opportunities to live independently since you usually have a whole house or room to yourself.”
Handle conflicts maturely: Even with setting boundaries, disagreements are inevitable. College life can be stressful and can be reflected in the way you live. When conflicts arise, address them calmly and respectfully. Focus on finding a solution and avoid passive-aggressive behavior.
If you live on campus and are having roommate problems, make sure to contact housing staff or residential assistants and let them know of any issues you are having that can’t be solved. This includes any problems you are having with your dorm room or issues with the people you are living with. Be familiar with your campus and know who you can contact in case you are having trouble. Make sure you have that information on hand.
Most importantly, remember to be kind and understanding toward each other. Having a good roommate can make all the difference, be that kind roommate.
