The lost and found: a secret gold mine

MADDIE FRY
Reporter

We all have those dreadful moments when it dawns on us––we have lost something important. There’s a split second of panic before we curse our past-selves for being so careless and distracted.

We check every crevice of our being twice (because surely it will magically appear the second time). After hours of fretting, we realize we’re out of options and our efforts are futile; we have no other choice. We must search the depths of the lost and found.

At NSU, we have multiple locations for lost items. For your pleasure, I’ve compiled a list of the most interesting finds:

 

Room 214 of the Student Union

At first glance, I thought I saw just standard lost and found items. You know, like notebooks, a calculator, various writing utensils, etc. After a closer look, I found some priceless gems, the most noteworthy of which include the following:

  • a french fry (just one)
  • a clear plastic lid (I have no idea how the owner has survived this long without it)
  • a whole deck of student ID cards
  • pants (??????????)
  • someone’s entire set of keys
  • a purse that has allegedly been around since before last semester

 

CAPA

Everyone knows that CAPA students are a hot mess. If something goes missing in that building, it can end up in a professor’s office, in a giant bin in the middle of the hallway, or become lost forever in the abyss.

A few highlights include the following:

  • a dance belt (which is essentially a bra for your dong)
  • multiple different-sized tap/jazz shoes
  • an old band uniform with an alligator on the back
  • a plethora of socks
  • a laser pointer
  • my will to live

 

Police Station

They would not even let me look in their lost and found. I have concluded that this is most likely because they are hiding something dark, something bigger than all of us. I’m not saying it’s an official conspiracy theory, but I’m not not saying that either…