Listen up kids, this emotional ball of woman has traveled across this hill-filled campus a thousandfold. I have witnessed a variety of people crying in and outside of these walls: freshmen, iconic faculty members, Vic the Demon, party girls, gamers, CAPA kids, Baptists, SGA Senators, etc.

Here’s some advice for all of my potential criers left out there: Your designated crying area on campus can make or break your cathartic tears, so choose wisely.

The WORST places to cry

Anywhere in Morrison Hall

Yes, Scholars’ students and faculty have taken care of each other through times of stress, but I’ve only had two kinds of experiences during my crying days in Morrison. Either an entire building’s worth of people suddenly care about your personal life, or you’re labeled “that tragic kid” forever.

Student Services Building

Ever get a chill walking into this building? Me too. It seems like the people on the first floor are programmed to smile forever, the people on the second floor constantly shake their heads at you and the third floor…Well, it’s a combination of both.

Parking Lots

No matter where I park on campus, people are always trying to look into my windows. Police officers circle cars suspiciously, dudes with really tall and loud trucks zoom into nearby spaces, or people are yelling and laughing at each other. None of this brings me the peace I need to cry.

Campus Bookstore

Don’t give in to the capitalists. They want to see you break.

The BEST places to cry

Library Stacks

If you’re looking for some real privacy, crying in the stacks on a Saturday is the best solution. The aroma of outdated nonfiction can really bring the tears you’re looking for. Once I saw a book about “the homosexual lifestyle” written in the fifties. That did me in.

WRAC Locker Room Showers

Either you just came from a harsh workout, or you’re showering to procrastinate your attempts to exercise. Either way, cry your little heart out. If people hear you, they’ll understand. It’s the shower––God’s gift to all of the sad sacks out there.

Natatorium

Hearing the echoes of your sobs in an abandoned brick building can be a healing experience (not to mention the fact that you’ve managed to sneak into one of the most legend-filled buildings on campus). Savor it.

Kyser Bathrooms

If you’re looking for inspiration or just another reason to wallow in your sadness, look no further than these bathrooms. Each stall is filled with offensive, sad writings on the blue walls, along with encouraging statements and enough Bible quotes to pick yourself up and get the hell out of there.