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SATIRE: Art curator reviews graffiti in campus bathrooms

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As an aspiring freelance artist in training, I decided to analyze the art on the bathroom walls in Kyser Hall, and I have come to the conclusion that the words and expressions of the students over the years have been unappreciated by the common viewer.

When I prepare my throne and sit down in the oval office, I get to see the art in full glory. Many of these decorative pieces reflect students’ true feelings on the inside and act as a way for students to express themselves.

Looking to the right and left of the stall, many constructive arguments take place about the biology of different races, sexes and, even at rare occasions, cartoons – specifically Japanese ones.

These comments are interesting to read as they allow insight into the human psyche, reminding us that humans are indeed mammals. But what makes us different from other creatures is that we dispose of our instincts in these secluded halls.

What always warms my heart is when people write phone numbers so I can call to “have a good time.” It’s great that these are here, because many people get very lonely and sometimes just need a friend to have a good time with.

Other people choose a different medium and draw art. One of the most popular in the stalls is a comparison chart of the size of phallic symbols.

The biggest one was Harambe, the gorilla who people pretended to care about as a joke.

I can tell this was drawn in 2016, since that was one of the worst fads to come out of that year. I understand the artist’s intention, but the subject became outdated and now does not have the impact it was originally going for.

Overall, the bathroom allows for the freedom of expression whether good or bad. While it gets updated year after year, it will have the charm when a joke is relevant, but just like a passing fad, the joke gets old very quick. If artists want to leave a lasting impression on the viewers, the art needs to be more creative.

The porcelain throne is yours to command, and the walls are where your creativity can thrive. Sincerely, do better.

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