The Current Sauce • KNWD

Purple Media Network

The Current Sauce • KNWD

The Current Sauce • KNWD

SATIRE: King cake babies - more than a decoration

SATIRE: King cake babies – more than a decoration

March 4, 2020

Keator Poleman  Digital Editor  You know their faces. You see their pain.   But every year, countless are left homeless and ignored.   Their cries for help fall on deaf ears as...

SATIRE: Students actually stay for second half of football game

April 25, 2018

Saturday’s football game saw students remaining after the band’s halftime performance. “I didn’t actually care about the game,” one student said. “We all knew they were going to get demolished...

SATIRE: Police Blotter

April 25, 2018

April 18 Complaint of Cardi B 0212 hours University Columns Student asked to stop "eeeoowwwing" April 19 Vehicle theft 1835 hours Chaplin's Lake Thief was a squirrel and drove car into lake;...

SATIRE: Alum funds another Demon Football purchase while CAPA rots

SATIRE: Alum funds another Demon Football purchase while CAPA rots

April 25, 2018

On the heels of approximately $1.5 million spent on Turpin Stadium comes another six-figure check to NSU Football with the following memo: "not for Creative and Performing Arts." Sports Press...

SATIRE: SGA Minutes | Questionable choices at every step

SATIRE: SGA Minutes | Questionable choices at every step

April 25, 2018

President Tre Nelson began the meeting by taking a microphone from his coat pocket, dropping it and walking out, throwing a deuces sign as he played "Bad and Boujee" by Migos. President Elect Jacob Ellis...

SATIRE: Dear FBI Agent,

April 25, 2018

I think there’s something we need to talk about, and it’s vitally important. Although my Google search history may suggest otherwise, I’m just a wayward writer trying to make her way in the world. My...

SATIRE: Art curator reviews graffiti in campus bathrooms

SATIRE: Art curator reviews graffiti in campus bathrooms

April 25, 2018

As an aspiring freelance artist in training, I decided to analyze the art on the bathroom walls in Kyser Hall, and I have come to the conclusion that the words and expressions of the students over the...

SATIRE: Developers skip ‘Kingdom Hearts 3’ for wild crossover

April 25, 2018

As many await the newest entry in the "Kingdom Hearts" series that might be coming out this year, I decided to do some sneaking around in the Square Enix offices. Lo and behold, I found an advanced copy...

Photo by Sean McGraw

SATIRE: Self-taught online students now considered faculty members

April 24, 2018

In response to some of the protests around the nation due to teachers’ salaries, Northwestern State decided to act first before any sort of protests happened on campus and decided it was time to finally...

SATIRE: Sodexo now offering dog food diet

SATIRE: Sodexo now offering dog food diet

April 24, 2018

There are many different fad diet options out there, such as the werewolf diet, the liquid diet or the three-day tuna diet. Sodexo is now offering a new fad diet to help keep off the "freshman 15" called...

Season’s greetings from POTUS

November 29, 2017

My fellow Americans, It is a great honor to be celebrating my first Christmas as your president. It is at this time that we all come together and celebrate the true meaning of the season: getting presents....

Photo credit: Sean Mcgraw

How to avoid parking issues on campus

May 16, 2017

Yeah, we get it; we can park at Prather. But let's face it: who wants to? Here are some tips on avoiding parking disasters on campus. Make your own spot with chalk. Pro tip: If you're inside a set...

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