SATIRE: Sodexo now offering dog food diet

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There are many different fad diet options out there, such as the werewolf diet, the liquid diet or the three-day tuna diet. Sodexo is now offering a new fad diet to help keep off the “freshman 15” called “Nibble on Kibble.”

This diet is relatively easy; one only needs to keep some kibble in a zip lock bag and eat it throughout the day when hungry. If you want to diversify your diet, a can of wet dog food is roughly $2 and 400 calories.

Anne Kadet, an author from the website OZY, decided to eat dog food for six days and finished with amazing results. She tried this diet because it was simple and it was a lot cheaper than other fad diets, such as the paleo or keto diets.

“The canned food is so delicious; I don’t feel deprived. My digestion is fine, and my energy level is through the roof,” Kadet said with eyes twitching.

Nicole Miller, a freshman at NSU, is excited about Sodexo’s new diet option for students. She has a pitbull named Sophie at home and knows she absolutely loves her food, so Miller figured it would be fine to try it herself.

“I’ve been looking for a new diet option out there,” she said. “The best part about this new diet is that it already tastes like the cafeteria food at NSU, so there’s not much of a change.”

With this new diet, Sodexo doesn’t need to worry about seasoning their food – an extra cost they already don’t worry about. Plus, dog food is an easy and accessible food source.

Some side effects of eating dog food include E. coli, loss of focus, lack of nutrition, kidney failure, liver failure, heart failure, seizures, stroke, rashes, hives, cough, lung failure, loss of proper motor functions and even death.

But don’t let that scare you off! Overall, this is a fun new way to diet for half the cost of a doctor-recommended diet. Some may think it is strange, but it’s a good way to reach a new level of bonding with your dog and save some money.